Feeling insecure at the California Yacht Club

Went with my roommates to the opening day of their yacht club today ❤️ I had a great time…I really did. But I also struggled with my own insecurities. 30515588_10211639787973929_1677214046984957159_nAs I mentioned before…it’s hard to always hold my head up when it comes to things like dating, and although I wasn’t at the yacht club for a date…my roommates did have someone they wanted to Introduce me to and they had told him about me already as well. And he wasn’t the only eligible bachelor there :p But I can’t help but compare myself to able-bodied girls…especially when I am by the beach and watching them all being so carefree with everything they do while I am dealing with things like leg braces and wearing socks and tennis shoes because it’s the only way I can wear them…or how I am going to get my wheelchair around to get to things. I know I’m tired…and a lot of things are new…which makes things seem even harder…but I couldn’t help but feel as though I were retreating further and further into the back of my mind as I tried really hard to be social and happy. I left my wheelchair downstairs because the yacht club has no elevator yet and since it was opening day I knew it was going to be crowded and would be hard to get around in my chair, but that meant I had to waddle to get to the bathroom or to the buffet tables (and my waddling is extra hard and extra awkward right now because my leg braces need some adjustments done to them…which is also overwhelming) things were hard for me today…but I did it and I know In time things will get easier. My leg braces will soon be better (my orthotist is mailing me a pair we had been working on) and my confidence will get stronger the more I work through the deep seated pain I have of rejection and insecurities. And I am pretty sure that I am at the perfect place in my life to do just that 🙂 (there was another experience I had yesterday that I also wanted to share with you but didn’t want to be a Debbie downer…but at the same time…I’m here to share it all. And that’s what I am trying my best to do. I will definitely write in my blog in the near future about it…but for now, I gotta go to sleep because I start my new job in the morning 🙂 with my roommates to the opening day of their yacht club today ❤️ I had a great time…I really did. But I also struggled with my own insecurities. As I mentioned before…it’s hard to always hold my head up when it comes to things like dating, and although I wasn’t at the yacht club for a date…my roommates did have someone they wanted to Introduce me to and they had told him about me already as well. And he wasn’t the only eligible bachelor there :p But I can’t help but compare myself to able-bodied girls…especially when I am by the beach and watching them all being so carefree with everything they do while I am dealing with things like leg braces and wearing socks and tennis shoes because it’s the only way I can wear them…orhow I am going to get my wheelchair around to get to things. I know I’m tired…and a lot of things are new…which makes things seem even harder…but I couldn’t help but feel as though I were retreating further and further into the back of my mind as I tried really hard to be social and happy. I left my wheelchair downstairs because the yacht club has no elevator yet and since it was opening day I knew it was going to be crowded and would be hard to get around in my chair, but that meant I had to waddle to get to the bathroom or to the buffet tables (and my waddling is extra hard and extra awkward right now because my leg braces need some adjustments done to them…which is also overwhelming) things were hard for me today…but I did it and I know In time things will get easier. My leg braces will soon be better (my orthotist is mailing me a pair we had been working on) and my confidence will get stronger the more I work through thedeep seated pain I have of rejection and insecurities. And I am pretty sure that I am at the perfect place in my life to do just that 🙂 (there was another experience I had yesterday that I also wanted to share with you but didn’t want to be a Debbie downer…but at the same time…I’m here to share it all. And that’s what I am trying my best to do. I will definitely write in my blog in the near future about it…but for now, I gotta go to sleep because I start my new job in the morning 🙂30414986_10211639788333938_3410761325189420574_n

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